Shopping Spree!
by extemporaneous one
Summary: The Marauders are the masters at pranks, that much Lily Evans and her friends will admit, but what happens when the boys meet them on their own terrain? Time for a shopping spree! What messes will the boys get themselves into? R&R please!
1. The Dare

**Disclaimer: Don't own Harry potter, don't own Harry Potter, don't own him! How many times do I have to say it?**

**A/N: Hey everyone! This is my first fanfic, so don't flame me please! This is an idea that's been in my head for a while now; it won't go away, so I decided to make an account and write it down! I hope you enjoy it, and since everyone else does it (-sigh-, so _clique_), I'll do it too! R&R please!**

* * *

"So are you sure you guys would do _anything_?" Lily Evans teased her friends, the Marauders. 

"Of course!" James Potter said, puffing his chest out proudly like a robin.

"Riiight" smirked one of Lily's best friends, Taylor White.

"Hey! What are you suggesting White?" asked Sirius, challenging her.

"I was _suggesting_, Mr. Black, that you may not want to do the dare we have thought up for you in this wonderfully enticing game of Truth or Dare." she flung back her straight and shining waist-length ebony colored hair.

"Course we would Taylor!" said Remus amiably. "The rules are that the truths and dares apply to us Marauders as a group, and you guys as a group,right?"

"Right!" piped up Kate, the shyest (or so it seemed) of Lily's friends.

"Right then, let's continue!" said Lily, her emerald eyes shining with laughter, and a chuckle rising in her throatas she exchanged looks with her friends.

Peter, the fourth and last Marauder squeaked nervously, and looked to the others for support.

"Go ahead Lily, whatever it is, it can't be that bad, can it?" James asked, a little anxious at this point. He didn't like it when girls glanced at each other like that. It freaked him out.

Lily's face was beginning to turn scarlet, a rival to her fiery, bright red hair.

"Lily! Hurry up, before you begin hyperventilating!" Kate intervened, a bit worried looking.

"O- ok" gasped Lily. "I dare you guys to go to the mall with us-"

"Oh, is that all?" asked James, with a bored look on his face.

"-and do whatever we tell you to do, and I mean _anything_." Lily finished, glaring at James. "Meaning we dare you to do things no guy in his right mind would do."

"Hey! I don't wanna buy you guys stuff!" wailed Peter.

"Quit whining Wormtail!" Sirius said. "Except buying stuff, right? Because I don't think Wormtail here could handle it."

"Oh shut up, Black, we all know you're rolling in cash." Taylor rolled her eyes at Sirius.

"Right, but that's not the point of our dare." continued Kate. "What we want is for you guys to utterly humiliate yourselves so that we can capture the memories forever. And then laugh at you for the rest of your insufficient lives." She smirked almost evilly at them, which seemed unlike the Kate most people saw. The Marauders edged away subtly, until Taylor gave them a withering glance.

"You guys are so _weird._ So what about it? Are you guys up for a challenge?"

"Sure!" Sirius said, without hesitation.

"SIRIUS!" hissed James and Remus.

"What? I though we never backed down from dares! Besides, what's the worst they can come up for us to do?"

"Yeah well this one required "group discussion"! And you never know what crazy things they'll think up for us to do..." James sighed heatedly, shoulders slumping foward in exasperation.

"Oops, sorry!"

"Too late!" smirked Lily. "Can't back down now!"

"Wait!" Remus stopped her. "Don't forget, you guys have to do a dare too!"

"Ok." Lily shrugged.

"Sure." Kate said.

"Whatever." Taylor rolled her eyes.

"Right then, we dare you guys to go up tos trangers in the mall, and scream random stuff at them." said James.

"We'll write up a list for you." Sirius gave James a smug look.

There was a stunned silence.

"Is that the best you can come up with!" screeched Taylor.

* * *

**A/N: Yeah I know, that was short and not really great for a beginning, but hey! I'm a beginner, give me a break! And just to clear some stuff up, this is a Harry Potter story, and most likely they have no malls where they are. But since it's _my_ story, they have wizarding malls where the Marauders and Co. are, and for them, it's summer break, get it? Ok...I hope so.. -.-" BTW, this is going to be a humor story, so there probably won't be much romance, cuz I suck at it, k? **

**Also, can you guys do my a favor please? Write up some things that the Marauders can dare the girls to scream at people, and I'll dedicate the next chapter to you! (Yeah, I know it's not much, but can you do it please?) I need all the help I need to make this story a good one! R&R please!**


	2. The List and Taylor's Blackmail

**Disclaimer: **Too lazy. Turn back a chapter.

**Author's Note: **I guess a couple of people like my story, since I got a couple of reviews, yay! Anyways...I found a lot of mistakes after I posted that first chapter, cuz you know, I'm a beginner and stuff, and I corrected them, but most of you probably didn't see the revised edition. So I hope you won't judge my story by that. This chapter I'll be extra careful, so yeah...Also, this chapter is where the humor is going to begin (at least I _hope_ it's funny!)

* * *

**Last Time:**

"_Right then, we dare you guys to go up to random people in the mall, and scream random stuff at them. We'll write up a list for you"_

_There was a stunned silence._

"_Is that the best you can come up with!" screeched Taylor._

**

* * *

**

**The Boy's List:**

I like chocolate. Wanna make something of it?

I have boogers, wanna see?

WHOOPEE CUSHION!

I'm so misunderstood -enter sigh-

I'm still afraid of the Bogie Man

FIIIIIIIIIIRE!

Lipstick is made of fish scales!

Got Milk? (With a milk mustache, and a chorus of drunken moos in the background)

Can I take a picture with you?

Hi person! I'm a boy! Wanna see proof!

ASIAN POWER!

I enjoy clipping my toenails in my spare time

Will you bear my child?

FEEL THE BURN!

Say: "Where's the baby...THERE HE IS!" in Cantonese

Go up to them and sniff their hair

I've snogged all four of those handsome guys over there

I wet the bed until I was 13 years old

Which is sexier, an elf, or Santa Clause? I think carrots are pretty darn sexy!

I wear boxer shorts, do you?

* * *

Lily stared up at the boys with a question mark clear in her raised eyebrow. 

"Half of these don't even make sense!"

"Why Lily dear, isn't that the point? The list is 'random' things for you beautiful ladies to say to 'random' people!"

"But some of them aren't even things to say! I mean, 'Go up to them and sniff their hair'?"

"Who cares, you have to do it anyways!" Sirius beamed euphorically.

"And how the _heck_ should we know how to say "Where's the baby in _Cantonese_?" asked Taylor.

"Well aren't you Chinese?" replied Remus with surprise.

"Yeah, but I don't speak Cantonese! I speak Mandarin you nitwits! What, do you guys know how to say it?"

"Baibe hai bing doe...HAI BING DOE!" they shouted without hesitation.

"But-how the-what the-" faltered Taylor disbelievingly.

"Duhhhh...watch "Ice Age" Bonus Features on DVD!" sad Sirius with a know-it-all smile on his face.

"What's a D-V-D?" questioned Peter, who seemed to not be following the conversation well. No one answered him.

Kate rolled her eyes. "Oh...that was just sooo obvious. And why do me and Lily have to scream 'Asian Power' when we're not even asian?"

"All the more hilarious" laughed James.

"Also, we forgot to tell you, we get to pick the people you talk to!" said Remus.

"Oh great, so we're gonna go all lesbian and ask other girls to bear our child?" screeched Taylor disbelievingly.

"Why Taylor, you are so, _so_ **clever**!" grinned Sirius evilly.

"This list is _so crazy_." said Kate, as she began getting into the conversation more. "But I want to do it! Ooh, I can't wait to get started!"

"Kate..." groaned Lily and Taylor.

"Whatever, it can't be that bad, I mean, you want them to do our dare don't you? And besides, this dare isn't nearly as bad as some of the ones we're going to make them do." she smiled exactly like Sirius had before, only with more confidence and glee. "Remember..._the dress_."

"Oh!" Lily began giggling insanely. (**A/N:** Yes, if you haven't noticed already, I think Lily's going to be kinda hyper and is going to frequently hyperventilate throughout the story. She's going to be the one who gets excited easily.)

"Uh...right." James looked from Kate, to Lily, to Taylor, then back to Kate. "This doesn't really make me feel better about doing this dare."

"TOO BAD, NOW STOP COMPLAINING!" the three girls shouted in unison. James shuddered, completely freaked out now.

* * *

**Two Hours Later After Many More Unsuccessful Arguments on the Girls' Behalf About the List and the Boys' Go Crazy Over Not Knowing What's With 'The Dress'**

"What's 'the dress'?"

The girls turned away with tired expressions, and replied.

"Meet us at the Hogsmeade Wizarding Mall tomorrow at 10 o'clock AM."

"Ten o'clock! I don't get up until 11 during break!" complained Sirius

"Well too bad, and if you're not there, we'll tell all your possible future girlfriends about the last time you tried to bake cookies!" finished Taylor triumphantly.

"You wouldn't!" gasped Sirius, his face red.

"Oh boy." muttered James. "There have always been two reasons I'm glad I'm not Padfoot. One, I only have eyes for Lily, so the cookie story won't hurt me. And two, I wouldn't want to let Taylor have blackmail on me.

"What's that you're muttering over there Potter?" asked Taylor.

"Nothing, just glad I'm not Padfoot"

"Well, who wouldn't be?" answered Taylor.

* * *

**Flashback**

"_Mrs. Potter, Mrs. Potter!" cried a 10 year old Sirius as he ran into James' mom's kitchen, the rest of his friends following. "I need help! I need to impress my girlfriend, so can you teach me to bake cookies?"_

"_Of course Sirius. Wash your hands, and the rest of you can watch."_

"_Thank you Mrs. P!" Sirius jumped up and down like a hyperactive kid._

_After they had mixed in some of the basic ingredients for the oatmeal cookies they were making, it was time to put in the egg. Sirius was sweating with nervousness at the prospect of touching an egg. He wasn't really from a family who encouraged cooking, and when he was younger, had been told horrific stories about what happed to you if you touched a dirty egg. Apparently, he had been told you would get a disease called 'chichiburroburro fever', and die from melting into a stinking heap of doodoo._

"_All right Sirius, now crack open the egg."_

"_No."_

"_Crack it open."_

"_No. It came from a chicken butt!"_

**End of Flashback

* * *

**

James, Remus, Lily, and the others roared with laughter. Sirius, his face red, refused to open his mouth.

"So," gasped Taylor. "If you don't show up tomorrow at the right time and place, I'll tell every girl from third year and up about that story, mark my words."

"I'll be there!" wailed Sirius. He muttered. "Cruel witch..."

"What was that?"

"Nothing."

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**A/N: **Hahahaaa! Poor Sirius, but I had to do it... Taylor is mean sometimes, isn't she? Anyways, review please, and I hope you enjoyed this chapter more than the last one! I definitely had fun writing it! 

**Thanks to the people who gave me ideas for the list:**

**BadGrlGaia**

**Chpip**

**CyberWitch**

**GSCer**

**And to my reviewers:**

**BadGrlGaia- **Thanks Sandra! You rock!** WHO0T!**

**Chpip- **Thanks for the ideas! I really liked them, and they were really helpful! You can see I used a couple of them...lol

**CyberWitch- **Thanks for the idea! You can see, I kinda used it, but in a really random way. Also, the 'ASIAN POWER' thing was something my friend wanted to scream at people in the mall, lol.

**Jess- **Nah, you're not stupid Jess! You write good stories too! I loved that Halloween story you write, pity it didn't win... (

**GSCer-** Four words. Have you read Inuyasha? Yeah, if you didn't, don't ask, it's just something in this story I've read before. Just wondering. Thanks for reviewing!

**ilikeoliverwood- **Awww..thanks, I doubt it was 'wonderful' but thanks for telling me! I feel more confident now!

**Billy- **Er...I was a bit confused when I read your review...was that quote a random thing for the girls to say to people? I wasn't sure...but thanks for reviewing!

**Stephii- **Awww...thanks Stephii! I'm not sure if I am, but w/e

**winky-wink- **Yeah, I usually read romance stories, or humor stories, but I suck at romance, so I think I'll just stick with humor, lol. MARAUDERS RULE! cough Anyways, I think I like Marauder time characters better than the modern ones too...they're funnier! And actually, now that I think about it, Kate is kinda like me, but I wasn't originally modeling her after me...awesome! Thanks for pointing it out!

Now...

REVIEW PLEASE!

what did you think was coming?


	3. The Beginnings of a Morning Prank

**Disclaimer: **Too lazy. Turn back a chapter.

**Author's Note: **I'm sooooooo sorry you guys! I haven't updated in such a looooooong time and I'm SORRRRRYYYYYYY!

There, all better now?

It's just that I'm so busy all of the time, what with school, and all the other stuff.. but I felt so guilty because some of you were writing me really nice reviews, and I just _love_ getting reviews. Just like I love getting props on xanga. For those of you who don't know, don't ask. But thanks to everyone who reviewed me!

enjoy! And R&R!

**Last Time:**

**Flashback**

"_Mrs. Potter, Mrs. Potter!" cried a 10 year old Sirius as he ran into James' mom's kitchen, the rest of his friends following. "I need help! I need to impress my girlfriend, so can you teach me to bake cookies?"_

"_Of course Sirius. Wash your hands, and the rest of you can watch."_

"_Thank you Mrs. P!" Sirius jumped up and down like a hyperactive kid._

_After they had mixed in some of the basic ingredients for the oatmeal cookies they were making, it was time to put in the egg. Sirius was sweating with nervousness at the prospect of touching an egg. He wasn't really from a family who encouraged cooking, and when he was younger, had been told horrific stories about what happed to you if you touched a dirty egg. Apparently, he had been told you would get a disease called 'chichiburroburro fever', and die from melting into a stinking heap of doodoo._

"_All right Sirius, now crack open the egg."_

"_No."_

"_Crack it open."_

"_No. It came from a chicken butt!"_

_**End of Flashback**_

_James, Remus, Lily, and the others roared with laughter. Sirius, his face red, refused to talk._

"_So," gasped Taylor. "If you don't show up tomorrow at the right time and place, I'll tell every girl from third year and up about that story, mark my words."_

"_I'll be there!" wailed Sirius. He muttered. "Cruel witch..."_

"_What was that?"_

"_Nothing."_

**The Next Day**

James smirked evilly as he woke up and saw Sirius's arm hanging of his bed, and tongue sticking out. Obviously, he was still asleep. More like dead. James immediately thought of numerous ways to wake Sirius up.. deciding quickly with the air of a practiced artisan. He left Remus and Peter alone, and started on out of the house.

"If every single prankster hasn't done this before, they're not worthy of being called one." James thought with gleeful anticipation as he dragged Sirius's bed down the stairs, with him on it, using levitation. "Oooohh.. what's this?" James grimaced as he picked a little doll with a frilly pink nightgown off the ground, and examined it. It had "Petah" scrawled on the side. Guess who's it was?

James took the dress off the doll and enlarged it. "This might come in handy." He grinned wickedly.

All of a sudden, the doorbell rang, and James could hear Lily and the others yelling, "Wake up and get your lazy arses moving!"

"They might be able to help too." he thought. Remus and Peter walked out of the bedroom sleepily. James answered the door cheerfully. "Hi Lily! Hi Kate! Hi Taylor! Do any of you girls have any makeup with you by any chance?"

"Oh no." groaned Remus, rubbing at his eyes, accentuating the dark bags beneath them.. "Are you thinking up some horrific prank to play on Sirius to get him to wake up? Last time, James brewed Sirius a Dream Potion and dripped it into his open mouth while he was still sleeping. Sirius dreamed he was in a pasture with fuzzy little bunnies and deer in it. Not to mention rainbows. Then a chicken showed up. Sirius woke up screaming his head off; I think you can tell that he's deathly scared of chickens."

Taylor's hazel eyes watered, and she burst out laughing, and the others following. James put a silencing charm on Sirius's ears.

"Show then what Sirius sounded like, Moony!" James laughed uproariously.

Remus grinned too, and lay on his back, pretending to be asleep. All of a sudden he jumped up, eyes wild, arms flailing.

"AHHHHH! THE CHICKENS ARE AFTER ME! THEY KNOW THAT I KNOW THAT THEY CARRY A CHICKEN DISEASE AND ARE PLANNING TO TAKE OVER THE WORLD! THE WORLD I TELL YOU!" he screamed with his eyes rolling around, running around the room like a chicken with its head cut off.

Lily cracked.

There were stitches in her side and tears rolling down her flushed, rosy red cheecks.. The others joined in, and soon, the fact that Sirius was still asleep and apt the wake at any second dawned on them.

"So what do you want us to do?" asked Kate as James took the silencing charm off Sirius's ears.

"What I want you to do is to put heavy makeup on Sirius's face. Very heavy. I don't know anything about what that looks like, but I want him to look like that cow Umbridge in sixth year. Then I'll put this nightgown on him and levitate him to the middle of the lake in my private park! said James.

"Private park?" asked Lily. "You guys have everything don't you?"

"Filthy rich and proud of it." grinned James. "Now.. Do whatever it is you girls do with that toxic stuff on Sirius's face!"

"Ohhh this is going to be fun!" exclaimed Kate.

"Now leave," ordered Taylor. "This could get messy."

**Author's Note:** Crappy chapter, I know.. This is the best I could do in ten minutes though.. And I'll see when I can update again! I'm going to try though.. I really am! I'll do review responses soon!

I hope you guys haven't abandoned me just because I haven't update in.. counts a lot on months! Read and Review please! 3


	4. Sirius’s Rude Morning Wake Up

**Sirius's Rude Morning Wake Up**

**

* * *

**

The girls busied themselves in the bathroom, with Sirius's head as their victim of course, for about two hours. Finally, Lily poked her head out of the bathroom, and said simply, "We're ready."

James stepped cautiously into the room, not sure of what to expect. What he saw made his dark brown eyes open in shock, magnified by his glasses.

Sirius looked like freaking Marilyn Monroe! There was no mistaking the blonde blob on his head that the girls had charmed, and the dark eyes hidden under heavily applied mascara. Not to mention the blood-red lips! And then there was the mole. The famous Monroe mole. With the charms Lily had put on it, it was ten times the size of the original star's mole, and looked like a horrific zit gone wrong.

"I can't wait the see the look on Sirius's face when he wakes up with that _thing_ on his face! I bet he'll squeal like a girl!" James choked with tears rolling down his face.

* * *

**Two And A Half Hours Later**

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

* * *

**Back To The Present**

"And what's so bad about squealing like a girl?" asked Taylor venomously.

"Nothing! Nothing, it just slipped out of my mouth!" James responded quickly. "Listen, you guys did a great job! Now let's get him down to the lake!" James worked rapidly, first putting a body bind on Sirius, then floating him down to the park.

* * *

**Two Hours Later**

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

* * *

**Sirius's POV**

In the morning, at around 9 o'clock, I was **rudely** awakened by the sound of chirping birds _right next to my ear_. Wait, birds next to my ear? Am I hallucinating here? I sat up sleepily, and looked around me. I was stranded in the middle of a lake drifting to who knows where, and there was a bird trying to eat my head! I screamed. A manly scream of course, what else can you expect from the wonderfully handsome and manly Sirius the Great? Then I looked into the water. I screamed yet again. This time I'm ashamed to admit that it was a girly scream. A _very_ girly scream.

"EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK! MY FACE! MY BEAUTIFUL, BEAUTIFUL FACE! WHAT HAVE YOU FREAKS DONE TO IT! I HAVE A ZIT THE SIZE OF A HIPPOGRIFF ON MY FACE!"

From the shore I could hear bushes collapsing and shrieks of laughter emerging. I was going to kill them.

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**Author's Note**: I'm sorry my chapters are so short.. But I'll try to make them longer.. I'm just so busy! Well, I hoped you liked it and it was funny enough! Read and Review s'il vous plaît! 


	5. Reactions

**Reactions**

Sirius climbed out of the water, the frilly pink nightdress James had put on him billowing about him. He looked murderous.. But strangely hilarious all at once.

"You- you.. WHAT THE HECK WAS THAT FOR?" he sputtered, a bit of seaweed stuck to his eyelid, matching his mole perfectly.

James shrugged.

"I was bored." He looked behind him, where the girls were still giggling hysterically, Lily rolling in the bushes with a mad glint in her eye. "And they seem to like it." He grinned roguishly. Taylor peeked out from behind her clasped hands in order to examine their handiwork on Sirius, and immediately buried her head in Lily's shoulder, her large hazel eyes filling with tears of mirth.

"That- was..t-the funniest..reaction I have e-ever seen!" she gasped.

Kate stood up as if to make a speech, mimicking Sirius.

"EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK! MY FACE! MY BEAUTIFUL, BEAUTIFUL FACE! WHAT HAVE YOU FREAKS DONE TO IT! I HAVE A ZIT THE SIZE OF A HIPPOGRIFF ON MY FACE! SWEET MOTHER OF MERLIN! DOES THIS COME _OFF_? _**WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE?** _" she bellowed with a high, squeaky voice, the very image of the glowering wizard standing before them.

Sirius stared fiercely at the whole lot of them, trying to strike some fear into their hearts for disfiguring him like this, but it only made them snicker harder, rolling in the dirt of the bushes.

"D-d'you really expect us to take you _seriously.._dressed like **that**?" Lily lifted her face up from her hands, tears and soil mixing together on her cheeks.

"No pun intended Padfoot." the normally placid Remus chuckled. Peter just looked, confused, from James to Remus, then to Sirius, for the first time (he was sleeping when Sirius woke up). Then he fainted.

Sirius looked shocked.. Then grinned hesitantly.

"Do I really look that scary?"

James grinned, eyes dancing merrily.

"Yep. C'mon mate, let's get you cleaned up. Seriously.. You should think about dressing this way more often..."

"Shut up!"

**Two Hours Later**

"James honey, Peter has a very weak heart, it seems. Did he see anything scary before he passed out?" Mrs. Potter busied herself, setting Peter down on his bed so that he could rest.

James looked behind him at the now-normal-looking-Sirius Black, as the rest clamped their hands over their mouths, threatening to crack up again.

"Yeah, I guess you could say that, Mother." He replied, keeping his face straight.

"Well, I don't want to know what it is that he saw, but he should stay in bed today, and get some sleep. Were you all going to go somewhere?"

"Yeah, I guess we'll have to go without him now.." sighed Lily, who secretly didn't like Peter much. Taylor and Katie hid suppressed grins behind their already twitching mouths, but also looked a bit disappointed.

"Aww.. And we were going to dress him up in a pink frilly dress, and make him dance around the mall with James!" Kate whispered sadly.

"Yeah, with his short and pudgy figure.. Everyone would have loved him!" Taylor said.

"Oh well, it's not like the idea's original anymore, we'll just think of something else! We got _plenty_ of stuff to do to them." Lily finished.

"Hey what are you girls plotting over there?" called Sirius, a rather suspicious look now adorning his features.

"Nothing, Black." Taylor said. "Getting a bit paranoid in light of recent events, aren't you? Gonna become like that Auror, Mad-Eye Moody?"

"Oh shut up," groaned Sirius. "Come on, let's just go to the mall now and get these dares over with." A bit of his mischievousness seeped back into his voice. "I can't wait."

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**A/N: Next chapter we'll finally start dares you guys! Hope you guys are still reading and haven't ditched me, sorry for the long wait and the short chapter.. Love you!**


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